Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
