Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
