Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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