He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
