yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
