Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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