Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
