textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
thus making me awesome and them whores
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
