I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
