did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
