Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Randomize
