I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
