I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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