He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
