i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
