Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
