You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
