Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
