All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
