hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Also, beer. Big fan.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
