mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
