I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
