I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
