who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
