smell my finger.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
