it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
