His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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