I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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