I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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