Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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