I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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