so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
