New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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