It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
