dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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