does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
