I wanna bring you to show and tell
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
