how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
