Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
