I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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