Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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