Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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