Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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