What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
time to smoke my breakfast
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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