I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
