She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
