Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
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