the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
