I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
