my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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