She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
