Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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